Sunday, 11 August 2013

Mum....I Miss You.

From all the people in and around us, perhaps the love of a mother is the one of the most important one. As I’m growing older, I’m coming to know that although both my parents were responsible for bringing me up and shaping me for  what I’m today, my mother holds a special role. She risked her life so that I can see the world.

Late Kamu Dewan

She was the one to whom I would rush when I was confused. She always knew what was right for me and would always sort out my problems and mess of emotions. She always used to fill the fridge with different fruits while I returned from my college break. She knew I like fruits.    

The simple fact is that, no matter how big we are and how old, we never cease to be like children. We always need that one affection and quiet concern given us by our dear mothers. And we spend lifetime seeking it. My mother is dead now and these 6 years and I still grieve her passing.

I wondered at that timeline 21st June, 2007, God who has all the power in the world wasn't choosing to heal my mum. Days, Minutes, Hours were slipping away so quick! Mum was getting worse. Some days I could feel her slipping away. Instead she was lying in bed and I was taking care of her. Days ticked by and we spent every moment possible with her since doctor had told me she would die. A huge wave of sorrow washed over my heart, a rushing torrent that threatened to pour from my eyes. Tension torn me apart and I felt terrible. I was recalling God again and again for her recovery. I tried to memorize how awesome her hugs felt. Time seemed like a terrible enemy for me…relentless in its pursuit of taking my mum away from me.

But on 21st June 2007,, she slipped away. And on august 21st I became one those motherless child. Something I thought couldn't actually happen to me.

On that day on-wards God put me on a journey I never wanted to walk. A painful journey and I had no choice but to walk it at least for my dad and my family.

At first it was hard and I cried buckets of tears. But as the journey continued, other people resumed their normal lives. I too wanted to but somehow somewhere my life was changed.

All the pain was so intense, the struggles were so hard. I would lay on my bed by myself and just sob and I would fall asleep.

Losing mum was what I had never expected. I still carry my grief with me. It is a part of me now. 

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